Today, I just want to deal with one
topic. A few of my friends have been following my method of waiting to have
sex. While listening to their stories of trying to delay getting frisky, it
made me think back to my own dating experiences and I realized that most of the
people that attempt to hold off on hitting the sack encounter two problems.
Reigning in your own need to get intimate and once you decide to wait, keeping
that other person at bay. This is the knowledge that I have from experience and
through witnessing the relationships of people close to me.
The first is controlling your own desire
to do it. Let's face it, looks lead us to the water and chemistry causes us to
drink, and when there is a synergy between yourself and another person, who
doesn't want to drink that lovely specimen up? Thing is, the more you rush all
the milestones in a relationship, the quicker things tend to fizzle. It's that
shiny object frame of mind. You want it so bad until you get it. Once it's been
had, the wanting kind of wanes a bit. Try your best and hold off on sex.
I've talked to a number of men,
straight and gay, and almost all of them have basically told me that if the
other person is quick to bed, the assumption is they are the same way with
everyone and that doesn't exactly make the person you are presently dating feel
as if they are in any way special to you or unique. The other thing to consider
is men like a good challenge almost as much as they love a good ego stroke.
Nothing says ego stroke like feeling that sense of accomplishment when the
person you are pursuing, that probably doesn’t give it up to many people based
on the way they made you wait a month, choses to share an intimate moment. It is
satisfaction and accomplishment all rolled up into one explosive orgasm.
A great tip I learned while
snagging my Mr. Right is that it's best not to have long drawn out
conversations as to why you are waiting. Talking about why you've decided to
hold out always leads to you seeming like you've got hang-ups and baggage. Keep
it light sweet and to the point, "I think we should wait", or,
"Not yet". If he starts really turning into a frisky fella, I'd
suggest using humor, “Whoa speed racer, let's slow down", or something
that will make you both laugh and shift gears. Don’t be alarmed, but for if you’re
normally the type that has a high sex drive and does not normally wait, you’ll
notice that fellas tend to be a bit aggressive sexually when you tell them to
hold on. Stand firm on waiting, humor can usually disarm those sexually sticky
scenarios enough to give you an escape route. As time progresses and the sex is
not readily available, men usually will
fall into two categories: One type will lose interest; these types of guys are
also the ones that will continue to pursue you sexually while completely losing
interest in getting to know you. That connection you two once had, gone, but
he'll still do the bare minimum to still try and get some, others will just
completely write you off, then a number of them may just come up with excuses
of why they can't meet up and will eventually trail off. RUN from those guys.
Don't stick around, RUN. The second type is the one that you want to keep around.
Sexual advances will continue on, but so will his interest. Once he figures out
you are waiting to give up the goods, he'll change gears, and spend more time
trying to get to know you. The dates will become more intimate and you'll feel
that connection growing. Those are the good guys that you want to try and build
something with.
As a popular intimate product
campaign says, wars have been fought, cities annihilated, and lives lost all
for some good sex. Some trade sex for
love and others trade love for sex. Know your worth and don't give in until you
find the right one. If you’re planning on spending eternity with someone, a
month wait is a drop in the bucket. Remember that the right person is out there
for you and if someone does not respect you enough to wait, that person
probably isn’t the right one. Harness the power of your sexuality.
